Silence is Loud: 20 Things You Say When You Say Nothing At All

by Seth · 4 comments

What do you say when you have nothing to say? What are you saying when you say nothing at all?

If I had nothing to say, I prolly wouldn’t say anything. At least nothing would come out of my mouth. Its just up to you to decide what it is I mean by the silence.

Having nothing to say, or just saying nothing, doesn’t mean that you have nothing to say, necessarily. In fact, it’s quite the opposite.

Your loud silence speaks a library full of possibilities, you just don’t get to control what it is that people are assuming you are saying through the silence. Silence can be very ‘potent’.

By saying nothing at all, you leave your audience in a most awkward quandary for each is left to divine what the heck it is you mean by your ‘stinking’ silence.

Call me crazy, but I just ain’t a good diviner sometimes.

Silence could mean pretty much anything. Here’s a few ideas. Silence could meant that..

  1. I’m speechless. I’d rather stare at you because the depths of your beauty are infinite and the words that I would say wouldn’t even scratch the surface.
  2. The value of that which I am about to speak is not worth the time and effort associated with speaking it.
  3. I am not ready to tell you what I am actually dying to tell you.
  4. You are not ready to hear what I am actually dying to tell you.
  5. I’m too ignorant to explain it.
  6. You’re too ignorant to understand what I’m about to say.
  7. The timing isn’t right.
  8. The timing is too good and I’m a chicken liver.
  9. I don’t have enough time.
  10. I am thinking so many things that it’s a veritable impossibility to speak them all, so in silence I remain. The classic paralysis by analysis.
  11. I’m just not any good with words so I’d rather you guess what the heck I’m thinking and I’ll tell you if you’re hot or cold. (A silent invitation to play 20 questions).
  12. If you’re a girl, your silence is because you assume that the dude can and has read your subtle ‘signals’. He should know what you’re thinking anyways.
  13. I’m boring.
  14. You’re boring.
  15. I’m too tired and I don’t want to talk about it.
  16. You talk too much and I need a break.
  17. I’ve talked for the last hour straight. It’s your turn.
  18. You have something in your teeth and I’m too embarrassed to tell you.
  19. This date is over.
  20. I just passed some mean gas and I don’t want anyone to think it was me so I keep my mouth shut, or plug my nose and keep my mouth open so I can breathe.

It may be better to just speak up and say it was you ;)

The silence raises a lot of questions doesn’t it? Makes a body wonder what is meant by the silence. Even through the silence you can almost hear the neurons at work in that thought factory thinking up stuff.

By not saying anything at all, you’re saying a whole lot.

Bling.

Oh, just had an after thought. You remember that green Geico gecko. He’s cute right? What would he say when he says nothing at all? He’d probably say something like “You could save a boatload of money on your car insurance by switching to Geico.” If you’re in Houston he’d say, “you could save a boat load of money on your Houston auto insurance.” In Houston, they don’t have car insurance, it’s auto insurance. Go figure.

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{ 4 comments… read them below or add one }

1 Janece Wood August 31, 2008 at 10:35 pm

Jay & I laughed pretty hard at this post. We think that maybe our family is rubbing off on you a little too much. Not that that’s necessarily bad, but there are a few things (vices or idiosyncrasies) that maybe we need to work on or subdue a bit more. It is good to know you seem to like us in spite of it all. Only those who really know us will understand what I’m talking about.

2 Signe September 14, 2008 at 6:44 pm

:D Too funny! I can testify to #12!

3 Risa September 19, 2008 at 9:53 am

When I go silent Garen gets suspicious. I guess he thinks that I am silent because my mind is working on how to spin something so it doesn’t sound as bad as it really is. You should add that to your hilarious list.

4 Ann Schilling September 23, 2009 at 9:35 am

Love your article. Great humor.

Would like to add that silence is a great sales tool as well. Describe your product or service, ask for the order…then shut up. It works. Try it.

Silence is also a way to get someone to open up. Most people are uncomfortable with pregnant pauses.

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